Posted on December 11, 2007 in Divorce
Divorce is nowadays becoming a very common tradition and has fast caught up in India. A random survey proves that one in five marriages fails. The reasons may be varied and ranging from ego clash, financial problems and disloyalty to alcoholism, physical abuse and infertility. It is also recently observed that men have started to initiate divorce in more cases than women. This surprisingly deviates from the general trend where the woman proposed divorce. Men are mostly happy with the marital life they lead, as long as their wives are willing and homely. What then prompts him to suddenly switch roles and quit marriage? There are, in fact a variety of reasons for this.
Reason Why Men Divorce
- The desire of women for freedom – The general scenario now is that the woman is mostly employed, she has her own space and individuality and do not want these to be disturbed by anyone before and post marriage. Moreover, the practice of equal right after marriage is on an unprecedented rise. Women no more want to be bossed around by their husbands. They expect as far as the man getting her cup of morning coffee sometimes. Of course, men cannot take this sudden transfer, rather sharing of power so easily. They are ashamed to do what women had traditionally doing for them since time immemorial. Thus, even when women do not actually mean to make their husbands work for them, it pulls down the men’s self esteem. This naturally leads to conflicts with the man finally announcing he cannot take it anymore.
- Professional ego – It often happens that the better half is more qualified and earns more than her hubby. She might even be a workaholic. Naturally, she is forced to compromise the time she can spend with her family. This however need not mean that she doesn’t love her husband or children. More than average doses of babysitting, household work etc disgust the man. He starts persuading her to leave her job. This upsets the woman. Mutual insults follow and increasing mutual pressure gradually force the man to call it quits.
- Emotional abuse – Men wish to get away from their partners due to intolerable nagging from the part of the latter. True, the man must be in a work situation where he can spend little time with his family. After a hectic day at the office, he gets home expecting a warm and sound family atmosphere and emotional support from his wife. When he finds that what happens instead every time is the last thing he had wished for, he, as a normal human being, has no option but separate, so that he could at least enjoy some solitude at the end of the day.
- Women cheat too! Gone are the days when only women played detective with men, nagged them into spilling out a nonexistent truth regarding an extra marital affair. Now, women too dare to be as bold and bad as men as far as cheating the spouse is concerned.
Divorce Advice for Men
- Winning a Divorce Settlement: Men should know what to get from a divorce settlement. They should get maximum benefit from the settlement. One needs to consult a good lawyer who knows how to win the case and settle the issue in the client’s favor.
- How to Deal with Lawyers- One should be able to work with lawyers and attain one’s goals. One may have to consult a marriage counselor as to how best the case can be fought in the court. One should not be ignorant of legal issues. Divorce advice for men is essential in such situations.
- Coping up with Stress- One should be able to cope with stress of a divorce. One should accept realities and go on with life. No point on hanging on to someone with whom it is impossible to live harmoniously.
- Handling the Affairs of Children- The court decides which parent should take care of children. One should be a responsible parent and be able to deal with children effectively.
- Handling Finances: Since your financial assets such as pension plan, charge cards involve joint handling, it is better to sort out matters. One should not contribute towards a pension plan as your spouse can claim a share in your pension.
- Employ a good lawyer- One should go in for expert legal help and ensure that the lawyer does a good job of the case.
- Cut down on expenses- Since you may have to pay alimony, you need to cut down your personal expenses to manage your budget well.
Men also face a lot of problems on account of a divorce. They also suffer emotionally and financially and need to take charge of their lives. It is equally difficult to get over a divorce. Lawyers make it point to give divorce advice to men in order to ensure that they cope up with the situation well.
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December 25th, 2009 at 6:03 am
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