An interesting quotation on marriage says: “A man is a robot and his brain is controlled by various programs. He is born to fulfill certain obligations: to be a husband, a father, a driver, a bread-winner… A woman is created to manipulate him”
Will to give, take and share
For an ideal marriage all that you need is willingness to give, take and share. If you fall short of doing anyone of those frequently no matter what a handsome pair you look your marriage will not work.
Marriage is for traditional minds
Marriage is a traditional concept so it would require certain traditional elements in both the partners to make your marriage strong, in other words ideal. Marriage is a physical and spiritual union of two but it requires social and legal approval.
Sacrifice and tolerate
Generally a marriage sustains longer when the partners are physically attracted towards each other. But all human beings are not same. Other desires and aspirations are there, so the everlasting concept of marriage goes only with couples when one of the partners is willing to sacrifice a bit more, or bear a bit more pain and suffering, or tolerate that unpleasant or irritating behavior of the other. So there is nothing like ideal marriage if the members in marriage are not working to make it comfortable for each other. So just as in jobs our bosses look for someone obedient and hardworking and skilled so do each member in marriage expect the same.
It is dealing with humans my friend. If you are easygoing type of person you have more friends than a grumpy fellow so you are a marriageable material if you are an easygoing person with little hang-ups.
Sense of security
Men have to interact constantly with other men at workplaces, take abuses or face competition from others so he needs peace at home and for a woman if she is not genuinely a career woman is always on the lookout for an emotional overdose. In so-called happy marriages each partner lies in security of the other with the feeling that he or she will not be challenged of his/her weaknesses which are always threatened by the outside world. When that security is gained and the trust is built in course of time with both learning and adapting with each marriage becomes a success.
Marriage is not a battleground where support is required to survive the social, emotional and moral attacks from outside. Marriage is a bond which needs to be built and strengthened in course of time. It needs time, patience, willingness to make it work and positive feelings.
Pretend and be kind
By willingness to make marriage work I mean that either of them should be ready to do certain small things to make each other happy for instance listening to what his or her partner wants to say and not making comments when not required. Comforting, appreciation and praising when required. If certain things in the partner are disturbing, he or she should try ways to send home the message to the other about the discomfort that particular behavior is causing.
Fight and reconcile
If there are no quarrels and fights in a marriage it is not really a very interesting marriage. A marriage will be stronger only when the partners are ready to reconcile and resolve issues after the quarrel or misunderstanding.
Above all don’t be disheartened if you lose your partner after doing everything to make him or her happy. A marriage may last for a longer period but that does not mean the marriage is an ideal one. Life is a journey, so love yourself and enjoy life.