Posted on November 19, 2007 in Divorce
Some people marry each other, divorce and then re-marry. This sounds ridiculous but it happens and in most of the cases marriage ends in divorce, never to come together again. Most people try to linger on to their marriage. They do not know when to divorce. Let us try to understand the reasons why people want to divorce.
Some frequently cited reasons for divorce:
1. Lack of commitment towards marriage, sexual incompatibility and infidelity
Commitment may be lacking in one of the partners because marriage happens not always out of love. It could be seen as making a good deal and when it is found that the deal is not what he or she expected divorce happens. Besides, people looking for quick solutions cannot sustain marriage for long.
Philandering habits die hard and this leads to infidelity. People with uncontrollable libido or unhappy with his or her partner cannot be loyal to their partners. So when the wife or husband comes to know of his or her partner cheating on him or her divorce turns out to be the answer. The question that arises is when to divorce.
2. Lack of communication between spouses
Without communication no relationship can be effective. Keeping your resentments simmering within, your partner does not come to know what is happening with you and this is likely to create distance between you and your partner.
3.Abandonment, Alcohol Addiction, Substance Abuse
When one of the partners deserts his or her partner for quite some time or a longer period divorce emerges as the answer. One leaves his or her partner because of the latter’s bad habits.
Alcohol addiction and abuse prevent marital bliss because of the change in behavior pattern which makes an adverse impact upon mental peace and physical security.
4. Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse and Emotional Abuse
These abuses are not uncommon and tolerating them is not good and a person who loves himself or herself would not put with such abuses.
5.Inability to manage or resolve conflict
Lack of maturity disables one to manage conflicts and handle personality differences or ‘irreconcilable differences’
6.Differences in personal and career goals
People who cohabit before marriage have higher rates of divorce than people who didn’t cohabit before marriage because differences become gigantic in course of time. Initial comfort before marriage was imagined to take things ahead in future but in reality it does not happen.
7. Different expectations about household tasks and financial problems
When expectations do not match it affects relationships most. This leads to personality conflict because none of them are willing to do things or are ready to sacrifice their time and comfort.
Because what one wants the other to do, the other does not do there is dissatisfaction and frustration. In such instances love becomes sour. This exacerbates with financial problems because material needs remain unfulfilled and creates discontent in the minds of both the partners as one cannot give and feels humiliated and the other is frustrated because of long standing inconveniences.
8. Intellectual Incompatibility and Inflexibility
Intellectual incompatibility creates misunderstandings. And the smarter person feels frustrated while the less intelligent partner is mad about not reaching the level of intelligence of the other and makes life miserable for himself or herself and for the others also.
9. Mental Instability or Mental Illness
Insanity does not allow space for normal communication.
10. Religious beliefs, cultural and lifestyle differences
Cultural values clash unless we are highly adaptive in nature. Orthodoxy leads to intolerance and conservatism gags the spontaneity of life. So this leads to divorce after some time of marriage
When a person has a valid reason to divorce, he or she knows when to divorce. After all, there is no point in hanging on to a person. One should take appropriate action and break-off the relationship.
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January 15th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
heyy these are really good i ideas, thanks for whoever wrote this!!
February 25th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
important ideas really but how what are the consecquences of theses problems and how it can affect children if there is?
March 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
SOME REASONS PEOPLE GET REMARRIED AND DIVORCED ID BEACUSE OF RELIGIOUS REASONS OR THE FAMILIES DONT LIKE EACH OTHER.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:23 pm
My wife keep on lying to me over issue, recently she withdrew money from our son’s account without my knowledge and when I asked later on she gave me a fake bank statement. I am thinking of divorce what can you advise me
May 28th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
I’m a married woman seeking counseling to repair my marraige.
July 1st, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Ineed to know more please.
October 12th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
[...] Financial issues rank #4 among top marriage killers; #7 here. Money is the #2 cause of stress. State of the world and intimate relationships are #7 and #9 respectively. Personal health is #3. Stress leads to heart attacks, clogged arteries, substance abuse, infidelity – mostly nothing positive. All of which leads to the #1 thing people must do to adjust: Change your expectations. [...]
November 14th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
my wife is so sexy & i think patient of histeriya. she use to keep relation with others which hearts me but as i love her too much i cant divorce her but for last one & half year she’s been living with their parent written a divorce letter which is not addmittable before court & i want bring her back.what should i do?
December 10th, 2008 at 3:22 am
husband winges everyday that house is still messy, & wants to through things away.
December 12th, 2008 at 7:06 am
I dont think thats why you should divorce her. if thats your only reason bc she took money out. its immature. ther needs to be something more that just that.
hmm what was the money used for?
did u know that out of evey 1,000 married couples about 230 of them get divorced yearly.
marriage should be permanet.
December 12th, 2008 at 7:09 am
and wtf are married ppl looking at this website and going down the list to see if they r maybe in reason for divorce. hahaha
December 14th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I am curious about where these statistics come from. If there was an actual study done, I would like to see the statistics.
A lot of people say money is the number one reason for divorce, but I have never found any statistical evidence to back that up. Can someone please provide some?
December 14th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I think financial problems definitely play a role that leads to divorce. That’s the reason why my parents got divorced years ago. Also, I think if parents/in-laws don’t get along with the other family, that could cause a divorce as well.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Especially to Ce Ce Brown. I am willing to be an ear to help you begin your journey. I just an article about Saving a Marriage from and adulterous affair. That may not be your issue. But I believe that in many cases marriages can be saved. You must stau hopeful and surround yourself with people who would be friends of your marriage.
January 25th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
logical reasons for divorce, thanks alot
May 9th, 2009 at 6:39 am
People conveniently forget that they will ALL (Male and Female) answer to an ALMIGHTY G-d for their SELFISH ACTIONS in search of PEACE and HAPPINESS!!! The Judges and Laywers that so freely give their G-dless advise and Signatures in Judgements of these cases will also give an acount of their actions…..
Even sooo —- come Lord Jesus
Maranatha!!!
June 24th, 2009 at 6:57 am
i want know what is histeriya and how it will come
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:26 am
Hi Gautam,Don’t divorce,Be patience,take care of your wife and be try to cure your wife with the help of a good doctor or psychiatrist.Think …….
August 7th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I’m wondering why people always criticize other person,which is I believe mostly American sometimes can’t spell a word which is “normal” in any Country in this world. Helleeer!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
My husband deployed and cheated on me. The only reason I found out I’d because the one time he hit and choked me I, I sent him to jail. I went through his stuff and found an unfamiliar cell phone with incriminating texts. I talked to the girl. I stayed with him but I can’t forgive. But why am I still trying and when is enough? He is trying to “fix things” but he can never answer my questions or give me closure. Its always “I don’t know” or “it was a mistake.” We tried counseling and it was a joke. He was just going through the motion. I don’t want to be just another divorce but this is killing me. Its only been six months.
September 5th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
I think this list is excellent. I have issues with people who judge those that have been divorced. I have been married for 25 years and it has been a rough rood. I believe God is a loving God and we only have one life to live so if people want to divorce to find happiness I don’t have an issue with that. Marriage is the only contract where people don’t get a chance to renew or review it. If we have a job and do not perform our job, we’d be fired. Too many people get comfortable when they are in a marriage and don’t work at the relationship. You should work at it all the time and have a performance review once a year. If you can’t change to make the other person happy than the other person should have the right to get out.