How to Effectively Communicate With Your Man?

Posted on November 12, 2007 in Marriage

Communication is a key ingredient in any kind of relationship; especially if it is talking to the people you love. The most common thing we hear these days is that, my man and me don’t talk anymore, “He goes his way and I go mine.”

It is important for a woman to understand that, what works for her need not work for him. So start knowing about his interests to be able to make interesting conversation. Studies say that, on an average woman speaks 6,000 to 8,000 words every day and the average guy speaks only 2,000 to 4,000 words” To make him talk a little more giving the right initiative to him is important. The following are the do’s and don’ts of communicating with your man.

DO’s:

Timing is an important factor in communicating. So, figure out when he likes to talk.
Read his hints. Men usually signal when they have something on their mind, especially if it is troubling him.
Keep a conversation as light as possible. Talk about music, movies or even common interests.
Make him feel good by stroking his ego. You could say things like “you are so good at decision making”.
Letting him know about your vulnerabilities will make him feel less threatened to reveal his own vulnerabilities.
Maintain as much tender physical contact as possible, like holding hands when you make conversation. This could make him feel loved.

DONT’s

Try not to overwhelm your husband, with problems at home or otherwise as soon as he comes from work
Avoid using too many words, do not go on forever, when you really only need to say a couple of phrases to get the point across
Don’t use harsh communication that includes anything that puts your partner down, such as name-calling and insults.
Avoid power actions or statements like “I quit,” or “You’re killing me.”
When asking questions, make sure you don’t ask close-ended questions, as they would lead to single word answers. For example instead of saying, “What did u do today?” you could say, “How was your day?”

We can reach an effective level of communication through “LUVR” – Listen, Understand, Validate and Respond. Listening makes your man know that what he has to say is important to you. Understanding includes empathizing with him and being able to interpret what he just said to you. When he validates this, he will let you know if you understood him correctly, so there is no miscommunication. The response is when and how you respond to his validation.

How to Effectively Communicate With Your Man?

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